The full quote on the sidewalk was "Do not be afraid to let your mind wander," but it was the first part that captivated me: Do not be afraid. I'm trying to imagine a scenario in which someone telling me not to be afraid would actually result in loss of fear. Part of the problem is that fear has been a companion of mine since I was a wee lassie. You can hardly picture a more timid child than I was. Fears and anxieties seemed to blossom in my little garden effortlessly; I fed them and made them grow. Hand in hand, Fear and I went everywhere together and as my knowledge of the world expanded, so did my fears. Now before you have me pegged as a Mr. Monk kind of gal, I must tell you that these were, for the most part, perfectly normal fears. I'm no germaphobe, as those who know me can attest, but these phantoms of doom stuck to my psyche like burrs. So when Christ came alongside me and took me in (oh, what grace!), I figured my fear-laden days were over.
Right.
The process of growing in grace is a slow one indeed, and I have been loathe to let go, really let go of my fears. Yes, I know God is sovereign over all things. Yes, I know He is in control. Yes, I know He loves me and will never fail nor forsake me. I tell you, I know those things! But early on in this journey I looked at the world around me and with keen, penetrating insight observed that Christians are not spared the woes of the world. Every fear on my list (and more) has happened to God's beloved ones. Of course we're exhorted in Scripture not to be fearful or timid: Be anxious for nothing. God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. Buck up, you trembling fool! So added to my fears is the knowledge that I have failed to trust the Lord and grab hold of what is mine - let me wallow in that for awhile and add self-pity to the mix. As the Apostle Paul said,
O wretched man that I am!
Who will deliver me from this body of death?
Ultimately,all fear is a fear of death. And death is a tyrant that we were never meant to bow down to. Jesus clothed Himself in frail flesh and blood, that He might through death,
render powerless him who had the power of death,
that is, the devil,
and might free those who through fear of death
were subject to slavery all their lives.
When I am
afraid, I will put my trust in Thee
Psalm 56:3
Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
