Welcome (But Don't Look at the Dirt)

I don't know about you, but this photo says to me, "Welcome!"  His arms are outstretched and his face (such as it is) is bent toward you with anticipation.  I made the mistake of looking at this photo in a much larger format and guess what I saw instead of the welcome?  The dirt on the window.  Yup, I just ruined it for you, too.

Have you ever welcomed an unexpected guest in your home with an immediate apology for the mess?    It's an absurd impulse at best, for it communicates a whole host of things that you may not have intended.  For one thing, it's hard to think of a better way to shine a neon light on the state of your house.  "Look here!  My mess!  No, don't look at it!"   It also communicates to your guest that perhaps an unexpected visit is an unwanted visit.   Rather than feeling truly welcomed, your guest now must spend time reassuring you.  Guess where the focus is now?  You and your dirt.  You and your mess.  You and your obsessive desire to make sure that no one ever sees the mess in your life, or at least that they see the current mess as an aberration of sorts.  You.  Okay, I'm being somewhat hard on "you," since it's really me that I'm talking about.  

So what that the laundry baskets are on the living room floor, surrounded by folded clothes?  So what that there are books and magazines strewn about?  So what that you didn't clean the dishes and wash the counter right away after lunch?  Is there dust on the furniture?  Are shoes cluttering the entryway?  Big deal!  I'm not against cleanliness; in fact, I love a clean house.  But even more, I love a welcoming, hospitable house.  Those who visit are not coming by with a white glove to inspect the house (and if they are, they probably won't be back).   Hospitality, true hospitality, seeks to encourage, edify, nourish and welcome those who visit.   Don't shift the focus to the dirt on the window.  

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, 

for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2 

Thirsty

Behold, my rosemary plant.

I brought it in last fall, knowing a Minnesota winter would kill it, but alas, it did not fare much better under my regime of general neglect punctuated with panic-stricken waterings now and again.  My indoor plants are definitely "out of sight, out of mind."  The divide between green thumb and black thumb is at the water faucet in our house.   How hard is it, really, to water a plant faithfully when it needs it?   I have never forgotten to feed and water myself or my family, but these green living things don't make enough of a fuss.  If only I could hear their little green voices crying out thinly, "we're thirstyyyyyyyyy."  But no, they just quietly suffer, droop, dry out and (sometimes) die.  Oh the guilt!

One of the first Bible verses I memorized was from Psalm 63:1:

Oh God,

Thou art my God

I shall seek You earnestly

My soul thirsts for you,

My flesh yearns for you

In a dry and weary land

Where there is no water.

This is the country in which my plants live much of the time:  A Dry and Weary Land Where There Is No Water.  I have lived in this same land, on and off.  I have known the soul thirstiness of the psalmist, and unlike my little green friends, I do not tend to suffer in silence.  How grateful I am that my God is not a fickle or forgetful gardener (like me) but knows just when and how much life-giving water to give me.  Are you thirsty?

 Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life. Revelation 22:17

Whirl

This photo was taken after the Focusing Eureka Moment, but before the ISO Eureka Moment (see previous post).   I had discovered that my camera has two focus modes, one being focus priority and the other being capture priority.  I think for the entire 3 years I've had the camera, it's been on focus priority, the result being that if the camera was experiencing focus confusion, it would resolutely refuse to snap the photo.  I really think the camera was just as frustrated as I was: I would tell it to capture, and it would try in vain to tell me that it just couldn't do it (turns out that's what the blinking green hexagon meant).   We'd be at a stalemate and just call the whole thing off.  Ignorance was definitely not bliss!

I took about 10 whirling dress photos and this one is my favorite.  It says everything I wanted to say, i.e. the skirt portion has just the right amount of lift, the hair is delightfully akimbo and it looks as though some funky Spanish dance music might just be playing in the background - can't you almost hear the castanets?   In the debit column, the ISO level is a mite too high (remember, this was before the ISOEM) and in retrospect it looks as though I ought to have bounced the flash off the ceiling instead of the white shower curtain behind me (check out the shadow!).   Baby steps, baby steps.  I'll take any progress I can get.

This is the first dress my daughter made for herself and without bias I can say it's a stunner.  I remember the first sewing project I did in 7th grade.  It was a simple skirt: 2 seams, an elastic waistband and a hem.  I hated it intensely, both the sewing and the final product.  At the time I made lots of mental notes, most of which consisted of various ways of expressing that I would nevermore do any garment sewing.  Here I stand!  When Ruth turned 7, it became apparent that I either had to start sewing or resign myself to buying dresses for her that looked vaguely like she'd be in training for a lifetime of overexposure.  Never say never, people.  God picked me up, gave me a whirl and set me down in a new place and suddenly JoAnn Fabrics was my new best friend. He's always teaching me a new song - hallelujah!  And now I happily pass the torch on to my lovely and talented daughter - may she ever be willing to let the Lord whirl her around and teach her a new song.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; 

Many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD.

Psalm 40:3

Before and After

I finally had a breakthrough in understanding why my camera was using 1600 ISO every time my back was turned.  It was an unbelievably simple correction to make and while I appreciated the "eureka" moment, it does tend to make me wonder if technology and I can ever really be friends.  Here are the before and after photos.  Of course it would have been nice if they had been of the same subject, but cats are funny that way - if they don't feel like sticking around for another pose, they don't (particularly when the two photos are taken 20 minutes apart while the photographer reads a camera book and mutters constantly while trying to figure things out).   You have to see the larger versions of these photos to appreciate the change in sharpness.  

BEFORE - Luna

AFTER - towels

Sometimes all of life feels like a "before and after" story.  Before and after I met the Lord.  Before and after I got married.  Before and after I had children.  Before and after my convictions on things changed.  The Before side of the story is always dark and smudgy, sometimes only in retrospect.  I remember what Pete told me about trying to learn Advanced Physics: "It's like trying to see through a windshield covered in mud - the windshield wipers just move the stuff around and you never get a clear view through the glass."   I didn't know that I was looking through mud before I met Jesus.  I didn't know how my life would change as a result of meeting that young man in the Public Speaking class.   Mud obscured my understanding of being a mother until I held that first baby in my arms.  I still remember the day my convictions about abortion changed; there was a great deal of mud to be removed and it all got swept away in one incredible moment when I saw photos of aborted babies.  The Holy Spirit gave me a clean windshield that day.  Sometimes clarity of vision hurts.

For now we see through a glass, darkly...true that.

Hoarfrost

It's getting perilously close to the end of the month and since I haven't taken many photos yet in 2012, I dug up a few from 2010 to post here.   I believe in honesty in the media, so I have to disclose this kind of information.

HOARFROST

Delicate snow lace

Fragile and fleeting sculpture

Like icy breath mist

Fashioned in heaven

True ephemeral glory

It's untouchable

On the technical side, all three of these could have benefited from a better background, one that would serve as a contrast to the frost.  I'll keep that in mind for next time.   

Psalm 147: 16-17 (KJV)

He giveth snow like wool: 

he scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes.

 He casteth forth his ice like morsels: 

who can stand before his cold?

Happy

I haven't taken many photos yet in 2012, in spite of some thought ripples that gave rise to vague ideas that I should take some photos every day.   I'm a victim of my own expectations.   I don't think I'm alone in this (you know who you are). So rather than wallow in the muddy murkiness of unexpressed goals, let me just say right here and now: I will not be taking pictures every day in 2012.  Not even close!  And my photos will often disappoint me by not living up to what my mind's eye had conjured up before I picked up the camera.   There's something perverse about having to lay groundwork like that in order to be happy, but there you have it.

However, I do like goals.  I like News Year's Resolutions, too (shhh...don't spread that around.  New Year's Resolutions have fallen out of favor).   But how about goals that are in some way attainable, goals that challenge, but don't intimidate, goals that inspire, but aren't so lofty that after one day of non-compliance one must crumble in despair?  (I really wrestled with whether or not to end that complicated sentence with a question mark but in the end determined that I had set myself up and must square my shoulders and let it stand.)

With that in mind, I do solemnly set forth the following goals for 2012:
1.  I will learn how to use my electronic flash attachment, even in low light conditions.
2.  I will learn how to photograph silhouettes.
3.  I will make a cheat sheet for my camera (something I've been intending to do for about 2 years now).
4.  I will continue to post in this blog 2 times a month.  Or more, depending on...well, just depending.  Don't count on the extra blog(s).  This means I should probably be using my camera at least twice a month.  I hope that's not too lofty.

Here's a couple photos I took before removing all the vestiges of Christmas from our house.  There's nothing really special about them, but they make me happy.  If I could have some music playing that you and I could listen to while reading this, it would be "Peponi" by the Piano Guys.  Because that makes me happy, too.

Here's the final word on happy:

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,
         Whose hope is in the LORD his God...  Psalm 146:5

God is my help and my hope; what more could I ask?

Noise

Phoebe

Hark!  What's that I hear?   Some kind of obnoxious visual static is ruining my groove and it's so loud I really can almost hear it.   When I saw the tiny version of this photo on my camera (and all the other tiny photos that showed on my tiny LCD screen that day), I thought it was lovely.  When I downloaded it and saw it full screen, I had to put my hands over my ears.  NOISE!   I checked the properties of the photo and discovered that my camera did an end run around my intentions and bumped the ISO up to 1600.   When I take an indoor photo without flash in a reasonably well-lit room with the aperture set at F/2.4, I don't expect to be confronted with the number 1600.   The shutter speed was 1/45.   All my photos that day (Christmas, actually) were lousy with noise.   What went wrong here?

Must calm down.   (Breathing deeply...breathing deeply...)  

I've allowed a fair amount of noise in my life, things that take away from the clarity of my thoughts and add static to my brain.   I'm sort of like Counselor Troi when it comes to picking up emotional static from all around me ("Captain, I'm sensing a feeling of loss, of anger...")    There are times when emotional sensitivity comes in handy, but there are lots of times when it becomes NOISE.  I'll let you know if I figure out how to resolve the noise issues in my life.  (Rats!  I should have said "I'll keep you posted.")  It might revolve around taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  And as for the camera noise?  There's probably a setting deep in the labyrinth of the menu that I've ignored somewhere along the way, or that I set incorrectly, forgetting to leave a trail of bread crumbs on my way out so I could find it again.  

It's the last day of 2011.  I'm posting today mostly because I set a goal of doing two blog posts a month as a discipline.   Before you look at my blog post schedule for this year and see the glaring inconsistencies, let me hastily point out that I made this resolve in September.   (Ha!)   My goal at the beginning of the year was to do one a week, but let's not get caught up in the messy details of my failures.